Today, I was babysitting my neighbour. We got into a conversation about unicorns, and I said "Man, I wish they existed!", to which he replied, "They do, they just got fat and grey so we call them rhinoceros" I now have a new outlook on life. MLIA

Today, I was reading FML in my dorm, when suddenly two guys ran up behind me and tackled me to the ground. A third guy quickly typed something and they all ran off. I sat up to find MLIA. Consider me converted. MLIA

Last night, my boyfriend was sleep talking again. Since I couldn't fall back to sleep I started trying to see if I could start a conversation with him in his dream, which was apparently about him fighting off ninjas. "How are we going to stop them from getting in?" I asked. He replied matter of factly, "Well that's what the pot full of cheese is for." I consider this a completely acceptable answer. MLIA

Yesterday when I went into the bathroom stall, written on the wall beside me was,"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a huge shark that throws up so many people that they need to open a beach." I laughed hysterically in the stall. I hope nobody heard. MLIA

Today, in modern history we were learning about WWII and our teacher decided the only way to properly learn was by 'doing'. Therefore, we all got up, filed out of the room and invaded a Year 7 maths class. The best part was when their teacher leapt up, cried "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!" and jumped out the window. Naturally, it was the ground floor, but the dramatic flair was appreciated. MLIA.

Today, while waiting for our classroom, we realized the door was jammed and the class before us was locked inside. After a team of maintenance men with drills and hammers, two administrators with master keys, and one janitor trying to pry it open with a crowbar, the quiet kid in my class took a running leap and karate kicked the door. Guess who got it open? MLIA.

Today, my mother was giving me the typical female to female sex talk when I was driving her to the mall. She said "The only way to completely prevent pregnancy is by practicing abstinence." I kept my eyes on the road and responded "Or I could have sex with a girl." I'm not sure what was going through her head, but she has yet to mention sex again. Win. MLIA

Today, I went for a job interview today. As soon as I got off the elevator, I saw there was a nerf gun war going on in the office. I walked up to the front desk and asked if I should come at a later time. She said no and handed me a gun "this is your interview". MLIA.

Yesterday, I got my cat one of those collars which are magnetic to open cat flaps, it looks awesome, and I thought it may be of some use to the cat... Today, I walked in to find my cat stuck to the frige. That looked pretty awesome as well. MLIA

Today, while flying a combat mission, 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin came on the iPod. The entire crew started singing. We're all 24, and on our second tour in Iraq. MLIA

Today was the final day of my class' mock trial. The trial was that of a murderer whose defense was that his hand was crippled and he therefore could not have committed the murder. I was the prosecution and as I was questioning him for the last time, I asked if he was thirsty and tossed him my waterbottle. The student, only pretending to be the murderer, thought nothing of it when he caught the bottle with his "crippled" hand. I said I rest my case while the jury applauded. MLIA

Today, my uncle accidentally ran over his ipod with the lawn mower. He then proceeded to collect up all the pieces and put them in a zip lock bag, then sent the obliterated ipod to apple, with a note complaining that he couldn't get the ipod to turn on. MLIA

A little while ago, I went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with my sister, mom, and dad. When the movie characters raised their wands at the end to remember Dumbledore, my dad slowly raised his drinking straw, and was followed by the entire filled IMAX theater. MLIA

At summer camp, everyone at the camp gets to sign up for activities every day. I was looking at the list and saw an activity called Sampler Platter, and under the description it said, "Act like dinosaurs while messing with people in the other activities". I think you know which activity I picked. MLIA

Today, I took an alternative route to the drugstore for the heck of it. I found myself in a grassy courtyard, which was absolutely PACKED with pigeons on the one side. I stood on the sidewalk for a bit debating running through them when an older man tapped my elbow. He said, "Are you going to mess with those birds? If you won't, I will." We decided to ambush them from both sides. I'm going that way more often. MLIA

Today, I was babysitting my neighbour. We got into a conversation about unicorns, and I said "Man, I wish they existed!", to which he replied, "They do, they just got fat and grey so we call them rhinoceros" I now have a new outlook on life. MLIA

Today, I was reading FML in my dorm, when suddenly two guys ran up behind me and tackled me to the ground. A third guy quickly typed something and they all ran off. I sat up to find MLIA. Consider me converted. MLIA

Last night, my boyfriend was sleep talking again. Since I couldn't fall back to sleep I started trying to see if I could start a conversation with him in his dream, which was apparently about him fighting off ninjas. "How are we going to stop them from getting in?" I asked. He replied matter of factly, "Well that's what the pot full of cheese is for." I consider this a completely acceptable answer. MLIA

Yesterday when I went into the bathroom stall, written on the wall beside me was,"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a huge shark that throws up so many people that they need to open a beach." I laughed hysterically in the stall. I hope nobody heard. MLIA

Today, in modern history we were learning about WWII and our teacher decided the only way to properly learn was by 'doing'. Therefore, we all got up, filed out of the room and invaded a Year 7 maths class. The best part was when their teacher leapt up, cried "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!" and jumped out the window. Naturally, it was the ground floor, but the dramatic flair was appreciated. MLIA.

Today, while waiting for our classroom, we realized the door was jammed and the class before us was locked inside. After a team of maintenance men with drills and hammers, two administrators with master keys, and one janitor trying to pry it open with a crowbar, the quiet kid in my class took a running leap and karate kicked the door. Guess who got it open? MLIA.

Today, my mother was giving me the typical female to female sex talk when I was driving her to the mall. She said "The only way to completely prevent pregnancy is by practicing abstinence." I kept my eyes on the road and responded "Or I could have sex with a girl." I'm not sure what was going through her head, but she has yet to mention sex again. Win. MLIA

Today, I went for a job interview today. As soon as I got off the elevator, I saw there was a nerf gun war going on in the office. I walked up to the front desk and asked if I should come at a later time. She said no and handed me a gun "this is your interview". MLIA.

Yesterday, I got my cat one of those collars which are magnetic to open cat flaps, it looks awesome, and I thought it may be of some use to the cat... Today, I walked in to find my cat stuck to the frige. That looked pretty awesome as well. MLIA

Today, while flying a combat mission, 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin came on the iPod. The entire crew started singing. We're all 24, and on our second tour in Iraq. MLIA

Today was the final day of my class' mock trial. The trial was that of a murderer whose defense was that his hand was crippled and he therefore could not have committed the murder. I was the prosecution and as I was questioning him for the last time, I asked if he was thirsty and tossed him my waterbottle. The student, only pretending to be the murderer, thought nothing of it when he caught the bottle with his "crippled" hand. I said I rest my case while the jury applauded. MLIA

Today, my uncle accidentally ran over his ipod with the lawn mower. He then proceeded to collect up all the pieces and put them in a zip lock bag, then sent the obliterated ipod to apple, with a note complaining that he couldn't get the ipod to turn on. MLIA

A little while ago, I went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with my sister, mom, and dad. When the movie characters raised their wands at the end to remember Dumbledore, my dad slowly raised his drinking straw, and was followed by the entire filled IMAX theater. MLIA

At summer camp, everyone at the camp gets to sign up for activities every day. I was looking at the list and saw an activity called Sampler Platter, and under the description it said, "Act like dinosaurs while messing with people in the other activities". I think you know which activity I picked. MLIA

Today, I took an alternative route to the drugstore for the heck of it. I found myself in a grassy courtyard, which was absolutely PACKED with pigeons on the one side. I stood on the sidewalk for a bit debating running through them when an older man tapped my elbow. He said, "Are you going to mess with those birds? If you won't, I will." We decided to ambush them from both sides. I'm going that way more often. MLIA